Circles

Growing up in rural Iowa, I didn’t really experience a lot of rejection. Sure, there were new schools to get used to whenever my family moved, but I can’t say that I ever had a great deal of trouble finding at least one other kid I could hang with. There just weren’t that many differences among us. Most people’s lives had some connection to farming. The majority attended church of some sort, but we didn't fight over what kind. We all spoke English. Everyone I knew was white.

Moving a thousand miles to North Carolina with my husband and new baby was a different story, though. Any time I spoke, my accent revealed to everyone that I was “not from around here.” After introducing myself, I’d typically get this response, “Ah don’t bleeve ah know yer deddy.” Well, it seemed obvious that they weren’t going to be well acquainted with my father, so why did I keep hearing that?

Eventually I saw that these were another way of saying, “You are not one of us.” While it’s true that we made some wonderful friends there that I keep in touch with to this day, I have to say that even after seven years living in the South, I never stopped hoping we could move back to the Midwest.

14 years ago, we were able to return to Iowa. Eager to assimilate into our new community, we joined a church full of warm, friendly, caring people. We felt instantly at home and it wasn’t long before I was asked to teach Sunday School. When our pastor answered the call to another church, the congregation chose me to lead the committee that was entrusted with selecting a new one.

However, that sense of being unwelcome returned this year, as the majority of the congregation has now chosen to terminate the church’s association with the ELCA. Before the official vote took place, I tried, without getting into the argument over homosexuality, to simply present to them the face of someone who was in support of the assembly’s decisions last fall. My hope was that it would be harder for them to reject one of their own people than a denomination, but I was wrong.

This is what I shared with the congregation:

He drew a circle that shut me out—

Heretic, a rebel, a thing to flout.

But Love and I had the wit to win:

We drew a circle that took him in!

~Edwin Markham

Lord Jesus, you taught us how to take in those who are pushed outside the margins that we establish. By your love, help us to open our circle wide enough to include everyone. Amen.